Amazing Grace

The last couple of mornings, I’ve been contemplating the act of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet. Washing the feet of another was common in Biblical times. People walked most everywhere they went in open sandals exposing their feet to the dusty roads. But the job of washing guests’ feet was usually done by the least of the servants of the host. Not by the host himself. And the lesson of serving is what we usually glean from this passage. (John 13:1-17) But I find myself wondering more about the inward thoughts and feelings of those there that night of the Last Supper.

We know how Peter responded – with typical rash arrogance borne from ignorance and impulsiveness. (John 13: 6-9) But we don’t know how Judas responded. Nor do we know what was in the heart and mind of Jesus at the very time He was washing Judas’ feet. Certainly He knew what was in Judas’ heart even then, for scripture records, “The evening meal was being served and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus” (John 13:2) after which, John notes that Jesus got up from the meal and prepared to wash the disciples’ feet. (John 13: 4-5) Soon after, Jesus predicts his betrayal by one of his own. He knew. It was Judas. 

So what must he have been feeling while washing the feet of his betrayer? He may have felt some grief, perhaps remorse, that this was part of the plan…that Judas would betray and later hang himself in anguish at what he had done. Consistent with his character, Jesus probably felt compassion as he did even up to the moments prior to his entering Death. “Father, forgive them, they know not what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) But what about anger and resentment? After all, he was fully human as well as divine. I find myself wondering “what would I be feeling if I were in the role of Jesus, washing Judas’ feet?” And sadly I realize my heart would be hardened, angry and proud. I doubt I could even bring myself to look at Judas, let alone touch him.

For which one of us has not felt betrayed by another at some point in our life? And how do we behave toward our betrayer? Humbly, with grief and compassion? It’s a rare person who has chosen to do so, and I’m surely not at the front of the line. Since within our culture, we don’t engage in the custom of washing our guests’ feet is there another similar action of service I have been denying those I presumed to have betrayed me? Or maybe more importantly, who have I betrayed at some point? And can I “wash the feet” of either? Not if I depend on my own will. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit, do great acts of compassion, forgiveness and humility manifest themselves in humanity.

We can’t know for sure what was in Jesus’ heart while he washed the feet of Judas. But we know what he ultimately did. And that’s the nature of grace. It substitutes love and forgiveness for anger and resentment. In the end, grace always wins. Lord, let me respond appropriately.