My Ways Are Not Your Ways

I remember exactly what I was doing 24 years ago, this time today.  I was walking around the block with my husband trying to deal with the increasing torment of birth contractions!  Jessica Lynn White was born at 3:00 p.m. later in the day.  Having had only one child, that event probably ranks among the most significant points in my life.  So it’s no surprise that today’s elephant is one that reminds me more than any other of that important time. 

I have many elephants – but this may be the only one that canalways bring tears to my eyes.  Its special softness and worn spots, the lullaby that comes from within it, all this takes me back to the wonderful time of Jessica’s babyhood.

I believe that God teaches us through all life’s events – but certainly through our children. And those lessons go on as we continue to age, and our children mature and become adults.

Trust in Him above.  This is the biggest lesson I'm learning as my daughter, recently graduated from college considers her path(s) in life.  I must learn to trust not in myself or in my own power to be of "help" --  which is questionable anyway, as she and I are very different people.  But to know that God loves her more than I ever could.  God loves all our children more than we, as parents, ever could.  Only He knows the lessons that must be learned and, more often than not, relearned for each of us.

As I listen to the lullaby tinkling from the elephant's tummy, I am comforted...just as this elephant brought comfort to our daughter as an infant.  It's a soft and fuzzy reminder that God takes care of His children through the cold and hardest times.  His way is not ours, and as I ponder that, I think of Isaiah 55.  (I encourage anyone reading this blog, to read the entire chapter of this portion of Isaiah.  It's a beautiful reminder that God is behind all things good.)

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 

As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the

sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out

from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for

which I sent it."

Isaiah 55: 8-11

Happy Birthday Jessica!  I love you, your dad loves you more (family joke) and God loves you most!

I Meant What I Said

Anyone who grew up reading Dr. Seuss like I did, will remember the kooky places and characters in his stories as well as the quirky language that delights the ear.  One of my favorite characters was Horton, an endearing elephant.  In the book “Horton Hatches an Egg”, he meets a lazy and fickle bird named Mayzie.  Mayzie is tiring of sitting on her nest, waiting for her egg to hatch.  She’s ready for fun and anything that takes her away from the drudgery of tending that nest.  After wishing that someone would relieve her of her duties, along comes Horton.  Being the very nice and lovable elephant he is, Horton agrees to give Mayzie a “short” break, which turns out to be much longer than expected.  He endures ridicule (why I love fiction – elephants can actually sit in trees!), treacherous weather, being captured, shipped overseas to eventually suffer the humilities of life in a traveling circus.   Finally the egg hatches, and a tiny “elephant-bird” emerges. (Mayzie does eventually return, but only after its too late.)

The real lesson of the story is summed up in one of Dr. Seuss’ most famous lines, when Horton says:

“…I meant what I said,

And I said what I meant…

An elephant’s faithful,

One hundred per cent.”

And Horton was rewarded for his faithfulness.   I am reminded of that wonderful story and Horton's tremendous faithfulness each time I look at my own little Horton and smaller yet, baby elephant-bird.  Mom gave them to me one Christmas as tree ornaments – but needless to say, since I don’t have my Christmas tree up year around, they’ve found a place in my hutch.
In this popular Dr. Seuss story, Horton displays the kind of integrity and faithfulness that is so rare today.  (Maybe it's always been rare -- there are numerous Bible stories that indicate this).  Horton meant what he said and followed through with it.  Horton could have been paraphrasing Matthew 5:37 when Jesus said to his disciples “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”  (NIV translation).

When I was an adolescent and came across this verse for the first time, I wondered, what in the heck does that mean?  But as I grew older and demonstrated my own times of fickleness, (e.g. agreeing to do something and then later reneging on my promise); this particular passage became more and more meaningful.  

I’m intrigued by the simplicity taught and encouraged in the Quaker and Mennonite traditions.  I think Jesus is touching upon one aspect of that simplicity: simple speech, say what you mean, and mean it.  Everything else is superfluous (evil, actually as He says).

One of the hallmarks of integrity, I believe, is simple speech, but beyond that, remaining faithful to one’s promises especially when the going gets tough.  Having been divorced, this is a painful subject for me but I have been fortunate to know people in my lifetime who have exemplified this faithfulness.   And their faith in God has played an important role in their lives. But it doesn’t have to be a tough situation.  Even the simplest situations can trip us up.  For me this is where have to rely on prayer.  Talking to God is the only way I can continue to work through a “promise” or situation where it’s only too easy to say “no” or back out. That’s probably why faithfulness is one of the Fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22…”But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Horton the elephant was a true model of that faithfulness.  Now that’s the gospel according to Dr. Seuss!

The Opposite of Red is Humble

Red is a color that shouts for attention!  It cannot hide easily.  Red demands “look at me!” Red is the color of violence – blood; the color of passion – red roses, the heart, Valentines’s Day.  Red is a color that simulates appetite – many restaurants use the color red in their décor, their menus, their logos.  Red is the “show-off” color, the color of ego and power.  

And it’s the color of the elephant that I write about today.  It stands out in my collection because of it’s red – I have only three red elephants in my entire collection of 125+ elephants!  One is a stuffed toy, one is a candle, and then there is this one.  To another observer it may stand out because of its color; to me, it stands out for the memory of the person who gave it to me.

She was one of the easiest people to be around.  She was grounded in her faith and her simplicity of living.  She was my mother-in-law but we all called her “grandma”.  “Mother-in-law” often conjures up the perpetual myth of demanding, meddling, “monster”.  Remember Jane Fonda in the movie “Monster-in-Law”?  The myth ignores the fact that many, if not most mother-in-laws are warm and loving – but that’s for another blog entry.  Anyway, for most of us, the word “grandma”brings to mind thoughts of home cooking, hugs and love—lots of it! This was Edith White and more! 

Spending time with “Grandma White” was a treat to me.   She lived an hour away, but we tried to spend time with her whenever we could and often would take her on short road trips to the state fair or craft fairs.  One time we took her to the annual Mennonite Relief auction in Hutchinson, Kansas. Every April in Kansas,  Mennonites, Amish and Brethren in Christ from all over the state donate their crafts (many, many beautiful quilts!), handmade furniture, foods and all else to this relief sale in Hutchinson.  The proceeds go to providing material needs and development to communities all over the world. One of the highlights of the sale is the “Ten Thousand Villages”.  This is organization allows artisans from all over the world, particularly developing countries, to help support themselves with their crafts sold at a fair price.

“Grandma” went with us several years ago and while browsing in the “Ten Thousand Villages”, she came across a hand-painted elephant made in Sri Lanka.  In spite of my protest, she purchased this little wooden red elephant for me.  It’s ironic that she would be the one to give me one of my few red elephants – because she was everything red is not.  She was hardly a show-off, never shouting for attention, but instead allowed others to receive the credit, or take the spotlight. She was humble, a good listener, and liked simple things -- like family time and a good laugh or two.

She was also a woman of great faith, always active in her church, always tithed—according to my husband, tithing was a consistent value in his growing up, no matter how little the family had.  Having lived through the depression, she lived by the mantra so many did at that time –  UWMD (No, not Unidentified Weapons of Mass Destruction!) UWMD stands for: Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without!  (I recently read about the practical application of that value in “Money Secrets of the Amish by Lorilee Craker. ) Grandma White lived simply, frugally and humbly.  She was the embodiment of the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue…

…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  

 Proverbs 31: 25-27; 30.

When I look at this elephant, I notice it’s red color, yes, but more importantly I remember a woman whose walk with the Lord is one I wish to emulate.

For Edith Kathryn (Fox) White

1910-2001

Hidden Wealth

  

And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”  Exodus 33:14

From where does the label “white elephant” come?  Once again, the lazy researcher in me is grateful for the internet!  Because of Google and wonderful Wikipedia, this is what I found straight from Wikipedia: “A white elephant is an idiom for a valuable but burdensome possession of which its owner cannot dispose and whose cost (particularly cost of upkeep) is out of proportion to its usefulness or worth.”  So today I discovered a definition somewhat opposite than what I had always believed to be a “white elephant” --  an item that really isn’t worth much to the owner, but sold or given away to someone else who appreciates its worth.

The origin of the white elephant is Southeast Asia where ruling kings owned white elephants.  White elephants are also important in Buddhist theology, but I won’t go into all of that here.  My white elephant looks very much like the white elephants of Southeastern Asian paintings.  Its ornamentation assumes some kind of royal standing…the howdah (a new word I learned today!) is the seat upon the elephant’s back where the monarch might sit and also attested to the wealth of that ruler.

My husband gave me this white elephant several years ago when he was still working with the Kansas National Education Association.  Every year, the staff would hold a “white elephant” Christmas party.  The idea was to get rid of something that didn’t cost much – sometimes the gifts were at least useful – sometimes they were “duds” unless one saw hidden worth.  (Remember the adage, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure?)  Bob knew the hidden “wealth” of this elephant immediately. Remembering his kooky collector wife who tends elephants, he latched on to this gift right away! Hard to imagine a more ironic context in which to receive this particular elephant!  I use it as a bookend, and wish I had another matching one.  (You know that elephants are like potato chips – you can’t just have one!) Okay, I plagiarized that from a sign I saw recently about cats.  But I digress.

This morning, as I was really examining this elephant—one of the little pleasures of doing this each Friday—I noticed the detail of its ornamentation and that’s of course, when I took special notice of the howdah – I used my new word again!  I imagined the elephant’s strong, solid, capable body carrying me on its back.  I imagined the swaying motion – perhaps enough to make me motion-sick, but nevertheless quite a ride! For some reason this imagery brought to my mind the popular “Footsteps” prayer of controversial origin. It’s a lovely prayer yet I don’t feel quite right about copying it on this blog but if you want to read it all you have to do is Google! The message of that prayer is clear…Christ carries us through all circumstances even those (especially those!) that might make us sway a bit! Most of the time, it isn’t until the gift of hindsight touches us that we realize how He carried us through.

Lord, you are surely an awesome God…more powerful and strong than any elephant; surely your presence is more indicative of true wealth than any “howdah” or ornamentation. 

So here’s the deal. Daily acknowledging His presence in my life, I am given rest, and I am a wealthy woman indeed! 

Cut From the Same Mold

I’m tempted to write about my elephant cookie cutter; the one I got without the donkey during an election year.  Though my progressive mind leans toward the donkey’s policies, the elephant fits better in my collection!

The problem with writing about that elephant cookie cutter, is that I immediately think of the donkey I left behind which then results in my thinking about the polemic hyperbole in which our politicians engage today. Then I get caught up in my own hyperbolic diatribe and there goes any kind of spiritual lesson.  After all, my “elephant Fridays” were my intentional commitment to explore spiritual ideas through something seemingly so unrelated: my elephant collection.

So apart from the political context in which the cookie cutter was purchased, how might I make it a spiritual story?  Well yesterday as I was musing over this, I came up with several different spiritual ideas the cookie cutter metaphor might represent.  But it was the following idea that stuck with me.

A cookie cutter cuts many cookies. One ball of dough can become many individual cookies.  God is the ball of dough, each cookie is an individual part of that dough.  If one were to decorate the cookies, one could make each one very different. Which in a sense, is what God did with each of us…though most of us might argue with the “ornamentation” He chose to use!  

Anyway, if all the cookies are put together they once again become the whole ball of dough, i.e. God.  The whole is greater than the sum of its parts and the whole takes on a completely different character or essence than the sum of its parts.  In other words a ball of dough could be made into 15 cookies.  The sum of the parts would be 15 individual elephants (in the case of this cookie cutter). But the whole (the ball of dough) is a totally different entity. 

With this in mind, is there any way I can truly condemn those I find despicable among us?  If I believe that God is love, and God created me in His image, as He did every other person on this earth—because He loves, remember—how can I then believe that even the vilest person on this earth is worth any less to God than I am? (After all, I am so very holy and worthy! NOT!)

If I believe God’s grace extends to all – and I DO believe that, I must believe that yes, even men like Rush Limbaugh (dare I say it?) will be with God eternally.  If I believe anything less than that, I can’t really believe that God so loves the world… and I certainly don't believe in His amazing grace.  Thanks be to God, the whole is greater than the sum of His parts.  That gives me hope.

Persistent Love

I’m not much of a garage sale nut, but I know a lot of people who are, and sometimes one will find a unique item not to be found just anywhere, including elephants!  I have my “garage-sale addict” friends to thank for many of the elephants in my collection. Not quite 20 years ago, a teacher colleague of mine, who knew I collected elephants, bought this mother/baby pair at a garage sale.  There’s nothing really remarkable or valuable about them; they’re made of plastic and the baby elephant has a broken ear and trunk.  My friend purchased them anyway, confident that I would like them and include them in my collection, and she was right.

It’s particularly fitting that, at the time, we both were teachers at an early childhood center that integrated children with and without disabilities. In the eyes of the world, some of the children who came to us were surely “broken”, physically, mentally or emotionally.  A few of the children were difficult to love; some were difficult to look at.  But they all had one thing in common: a mother who loved them anyway, often intensely. 

Children with disabilities bring forth a myriad of emotions in their parents: guilt, frustration, anger, depression, anxiety to name just a few.  I know this only from observing and experiencing vicariously.  Graciously, God did not choose me to be a parent of one of these children. While it was not always apparent, I like to think that He had better people in mind for such children. And most of these parents were remarkable people.  Soft-spoken women became fierce advocates for their children.  On their good days, optimism was never stronger; on the bad days their anger might take a jab at those around them—including us, the teachers of their children.  Watching these extraordinary parents and teaching their challenged sons and daughters was an ongoing object lesson to me of God’s persistent love.  Perhaps more so now, as I can look back without the baggage of thoroughly present emotions.  And the lesson is this:

Aren’t we all broken in some way?  But God loves us intensely and persistently. And it’s the persistent part that amazes me! Even more than those mothers who persistently believed the very best in their children, God loves us in all our brokenness and never gives up on us.  He loves us forever!  Jesus promises such in the very last verse of the gospel of Matthew: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matt. 28: 20.  He loves those children, their parents, me, you, all of us persistently until the end of time when all of us will be together, whole and holy!

I wrote the poem below about such a “broken” child when I saw her later as a young adult.  She had a very rare and often regressive syndrome which only affects girls. The poem is like most of my poems -- I'm not truly satisfied, or feel I'm finished.  But I felt compelled to post it today for this child's  mother was probably one of the most beautiful, Christian people I ever knew and she exemplified persistent love beautifully.  

Angel

She’s twenty-something but her face is of a child

angel; unseen wings lift her up beyond

the rest of us. Her speech—the grunts

and groans—is only known

by the One Who Knows All Things,

as why He touched her in such a way at birth.

I like to think the persistent dribble on her perfect chin

is God’s weeping tear—grieving that He chose

to let this angel live among us earthly souls. 

But her mother knows 

He holds those troubled hands—so scarred

from years of gnawing. 

I’ve never been where this angel's been

but at rare times, I read the story in her eyes.  

Privileged to be witness to such holy verse.

The one that began it all

One of the pleasant results of writing about a specific elephant (or group of elephants) each Friday is that I’m caused to examine each one in a way I’ve never done.  I notice characteristics I never appreciated before.  I’m also led to deeper thinking about my spiritual life and the innumerable ways God works to achieve His purposes in my tiny, insignificant life.

Had I not received this particular elephant some 30 years ago, would I have amassed the more than 120 elephants in my collection now?  Would I have these mementos of various events and relationships throughout my life?  Probably not.   This collection gives me a creative opportunity to relive special experiences, to remember particular relationships in a way that might not have been available otherwise.

That’s why this elephant--the one that began it all--is especially meaningful to me.  It was a gift to me from my youngest brother and his first wife…at the time just a random stone carving to sit on our coffee table.  And for awhile that’s all it was.  Leave it to Mom to start the collection rolling when she gave me the elephant mama and baby of which I wrote about on February 4, of this year.   Thanks Mom!

Anyway, as I was gazing at this elephant this morning, a scripture verse popped into my mind-- “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6.  What a promise, so full of hope!  I think the reason why that verse came to mind is that the day I received this very elephant, was the “birth” of my elephant collection. (I suppose one could also argue that there was not collection until I received the next elephant and my intention of collecting elephants began.)

Even so, everything has a beginning.  And it begins with presence.  This elephant’s presence marked the beginning (although unknown at the time) of a unique collection. So it is with each of us and our unique relationship to God and His glory.  God’s presence—even without our knowing—began a “good work” in each of us which continues to growinto whatever God intends…always and only for His glory.  This in spite of ourselves! And though I often lose hope or sight of it, Paul's words in Philippians remind me and always I am comforted.

See, hear, speak...

Everyone has seen the little monkeys which are sometimes referred to as the "mystic monkeys" or "wise monkeys".  You know...."see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil."  I have a creative variation in my elephant collection--my "mystic elephants"!   While there is disagreement as to the origin of the monkeys and the accompanying proverb, it is generally agreed that the origin lies in the Far East, most likely Japan.  There are some who believe the proverb itself may have come from ancient Chinese wisdom. According to Wikipedia (I love Wikipedia!) the proverb has meaning in many different contexts, among which is the belief that it is a reminder to “not be snoopy, nosy and gossipy.”

One of my most profound disappointments when I worked in a church setting, was the amount of gossip which took place among church staff, and parishioners….sometimes in the guise of “prayer concerns”. I had the naïve belief that those who worked in a holy place would concentrate on that which is holy.  Ha! I learned firsthand that , clergy and church staff--being human after all--are not immune from engaging in practices (such as gossip and meddling) especially when they (we) are not honest with ourselves about our true intentions.  I was also dismayed at how easily and quickly I became a participant in such.  These are the very things that cause nonbelievers to disregard Christianity.

Gossiping, spreading rumors, meddling, are common enough whenever 2 or 3 gather together.  Jesus says though, “whenever two or three gather together in my name, there I am with them.” (Matthew 18:20)  It’s clear that when 2 or 3 are gathered together to engage in rumor-mongering that they are not gathered in Jesus’ name. 

Is it any easier ouside of community, in solitude, so to speak?  Since I have “retired” from church work, when not  with my husband, I spend a lot of time in solitude.  I rather like it that way. I read, pray, cook, sew, go on long walks and write.  I probably would have been just fine as a monk in the middle ages!  But being in solitude does not keep one immune from “seeing evil, hearing evil, speaking evil”.  In fact, quite the opposite!  Thoughts can become a form of seeing evil, hearing evil, speaking evil.  I can see evil by desiring the wrong things; I hear evil when spending time listening to trash on the TV or radio; I “speak” evil when verbalizing even if only to myself those ugly things that I “wish I had said”.  And probably the most profound evil is lying to myself about my true intentions.  But there are times when honesty hits me right in my face! And then the frustration sets in…not unlike the apostle Paul, I imagine when he wrote, “I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do.”  Romans 7:15.

So for me the only way to deal with it is to come clean before God and “turn my eyes upon Jesus.  There’s a praise song I particularly like that goes like this:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face;

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim;

in the light of his glory and grace.”

Ironically, Paul gives us the answer to the dilemma in another great piece of his writing in Philippians 4:8 “ Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  This is our challenge.

See beauty, hear excellence, speak praises! 

Okay, little elephants, at ease!

Shelter in the Storm

Scripture uses beautiful descriptive and metaphorical language to describe a God who really is indescribable. According to the concordance of my Bible (NIV), there are at least 33 references in the Old Testament to God as a refuge or shelter in times of trouble, most of them in the Psalms.  Many of the psalms were written in times of trouble and trial.  Psalm 61:3-4 uses both words:

For you have been my refuge,

a strong tower against the foe.

I long to dwell in your tent forever

and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.”

Sheltering under the refuge of an African tree, this mother elephant and her baby appear to be calmly “waiting it out”.  I received this little “diorama” as a gift a few years ago by my team of paraprofessionals with whom I worked in a Head Start classroom.  A stressful, stormy time, the four of us attempted to keep peace among a volatile group of troubled, violent preschoolers.  The frequent outbursts by different children daily, wore us down, physically and emotionally.  We became a support network to one another, a finely-tuned team trying to teach something meaningful, if only how be to less violent, to children who fought us every step of the way.

I struggled with emotional exhaustion and depression throughout that year, but admittedly, there were times when I felt particularly close to God.  I wrote a lot of poems during that period, many of them about individual children who were struggling with their own inner demons. Memorized scripture was a lifeline to God.

Every afternoon we would prepare the children for nap – shut the blinds, drag out the mats and pillows, read the favorite stories, turn on the soft music. Because the children were each unique, we found that each of us was more effective with some children than with others.  This was particularly true during nap time, which could often be stressful.  (Put away that idea of angelic cherubs resting peacefully!) It was a common occurrence to deal with outbursts during this transition to nap time--their bodies resisting the “call to quiet” their souls so much craved.  

Each day, I  rubbed the back of a particularly troubled little girl. It became an art to help her relax and settle down for a much needed rest.  And it was often during these times when she began to drift to sleep, I most sensed the presence of God and found myself praying for her. I believe in her own way, she also sensed the aura of God for she was a little girl who spoke of God often.  In spite of her violent outbursts, her rage and her ugly behavior, she was very much aware of the God who loved her. 

What does this have to do with shelter and refuge?  The two years I spent in this classroom truly were stormy times, and like the elephants under the sheltering tree, sometimes all we can do is rest, and wait until the storm passes, or the heat has died down.  The trees may go unnoticed until one needs shelter from the rain or shade from the intensity of the sun in summer.  But like the tree sheltering my elephants, God is our refuge then, especially then.

Mother's Day and Graduation

I'm back from several days in Florida.  I have a special elephant story to share from this past week in Florida, but that will have to wait for another Friday.  Because today we leave for Lawrence, as this weekend our daughter graduates from KU.  We're proud of her, especially since she took some time off last year and so often, people don't end up finishing when they take time off -- or it may be several years later before they go back.
Since KU's graduation day this year is also Mother's Day, today's featured elephant(s) is especially appropriate.  When Jessica was in first grade she gave me a very special planter for Mother's Day which was decorated with elephants drawn by her as well as a school picture of her that year.

Every mother treasures those special hand-made gifts from their children.  This one held an African violet for awhile, but after the violet died, I decided to keep the pot in my hutch with much of the rest of my collection. 
Motherhood is the greatest gift God has given me, and never have I been prouder than I will be this weekend.  Thank you Jessica for the sweet memories.  May you be blessed eternally.  Here's a prayer from Ephesians which especially resonates for me when Jessica is in my heart. 

 "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may
be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." 
Ephesians 1: 17-19                                        

And may the Lord be with all of us mothers who surrender our children daily to His care.  Help us to trust, Lord.

Don't Bank on Your Bank!

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”.  Matt. 6:19-21

Several years ago, while still working for Head Start, my husband, daughter and I traveled to Orlando.  Unlike many people who travel to Orlando, our destination was NOT Disney World.  In fact, Jessica had to wait a few more years before she had the opportunity to visit the “Magic Kingdom”.  Instead, we were attending the National Head Start Association convention.  I was to receive an award for the NHSA Disabilities Coordinator of the year. It was a big deal, I suppose, to receive that award, but deep in my heart I believed that the only reason I received the award was due to a lack of competition.  Whether that’s true or just my own insecurity tapes playing in my mind, I’ll never know.  Anyway, I do have a nice looking award that looked nice near my desk at the time.  And to be honest, my ego was stroked for a short time.

Anyway, it was while shopping in Orlando that I found today’s feature elephant.  Just looking at it brought out that “inner child” – the playful side of me. This elephant is also a bank, but that’s not why I chose it. Hand-painted blue polka-dots, yellow toenails, bashful smile and whimsical eyes, all against the bright lime green spoke out to me, “buy me, buy me.”

Though I didn’t purchase it for its function, the bank provides a useful metaphor for the treasure in my life.  I’ve been pondering this idea of what I treasure since Sunday.  Our adult class at church has been viewing a video series by Dallas Willard. Last week's discussion covered the role our “treasure”—what we value most—plays in our lives.

Like most everyone in our Western culture, I have found—and continue to find—pleasure in such things as awards, accomplishments or material things (new furniture, appliances, clothing, etc.)  Unfortunately those treasures don’t last.  The award was great at the time (despite my self-doubt) but now it’s sitting in a closet!!  It’s not likely that I’ll be able to sell it at a garage sale or give it to a thrift shop.  New clothes can lift my spirits but will be out of style before too long. 

Banks are places where we keep another treasure—money. People value money for different reasons but all value it for what they are able to get for it: prestige, material things, experiences or basic necessities.  Too many people, unfortunately, spend their entire lives attempting to get enough money just for the necessities.  Forget about the new car or trip to Europe!  To be honest, more money can give a person more opportunity, higher quality of life; relieve the anxiety of making ends meet.  But none of that (money, or what we buy with money) will follow us to the grave.

And I have to remind myself of this daily. God’s grace is not for sell.  No amount of money will buy God’s grace.  But the heartening thing is that we all have equal access.  No Affirmative Action plan required.  God took care of that over 2000 years ago.

I can save my pennies in this little bank; I could save hundred dollar bills in it, too.  But none of that would get me one day closer to heaven than I am already.  There’s a lot of comfort in knowing that I don’t have to earn a single award, win a blue ribbon, have the largest house on the block, or even be a pastor!  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is that my heart can house the greatest treasure of all.  Grace.

What’s in your wallet?  Probably money, or credit cards.  What’s in your heart?  Treasured Grace, I hope.

Arrrrrgh! For the second week in a row, something has happened with my "elephant" post!  They are disappearing somewhere into cyber space!!!  If I have time tomorrow, I will try to recover what I thought I had posted.  In the meantime....

Peace in the Pieces!

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  Psalm 147

Perhaps there is something in "Friday the 13th!" But today is Saturday the 14th, and surely my post will work today!

While most of the elephants in my collection are just “objets d’art”, some of them have actual functions.  The doorstop I commented on a couple of weeks ago is one example.  But I also have teapots, a cookie jar, mugs, an oven mitt, a planter and a kite among others.  Two of my elephants act as toothpick holders! 

If you look very carefully at the photo of the one on the right, you will notice cracks – yes, this elephant has been broken! Though broken, it was saved.  With a lot of my husband’s patience, and a little bit of superglue, the fragments were pieced together once again to make it whole; not perfect, but whole.

What a great metaphor for how God works with our brokenness.  Just as the pieces of my elephant were put back together – God does the same with us…daily!  My elephant toothpick holder can still hold toothpicks but it bears the “scars” of its mishap.  It is no longer perfect; but one could say it wasn’t perfect to begin with or it would never have broken!  Whatever! Certainly each of us was born imperfect, but God’s vision for each of perfection. And we break…daily.  And faithfully, if we submit, God pieces each of together, time after time. We bear the imperfections of our cracks sometimes gracefully, mostly not.  I guess that’s the point of repentance.  God continues to bring wholeness in our lives.  Perfection? No, perfection is the attribute of only Christ.  But we can look forward to the perfection promised us in eternity.

In the meantime, we face each day, broken yet whole in Christ, the “glue” that holds us together in spite of the cracks!

Trust and Obey, For There's No Other Way

I’ve gotten negligent about my daily writing.  Other things have taken precedent, and it should not be so—for what is a mere 30 minutes a day?  Now, for the past few days it has been chilly, cloudy and my acedia was back in full force yesterday. ¹ And frankly, I was in a grumpy mood. 

So this morning I made a commitment to get started once again with my daily writing.  I’m not fooling myself into thinking that anything will come of this writing in the productive sense that our culture values so highly (read “published!”)  But what I have learned about my writing is this:  I am more alive with it, as it creates spiritual meaning to my life--a  connection to God.  Marilynne Robinson so clearly states what is true for her (and me, as well) is that, “writing consists very largely of exploring intuition.” ²  It is this exploring, this attending to intuition which gives way to the spiritual, "personal" communication from the Holy Spirit about what my life on this earth should be about.

I’ve often wondered if I am afflicted with that popular “disorder” of children these days--Attention Deficit Disorder.  When acedia sets in, I have trouble focusing; too many thoughts and obsessions take over; I flit from task to task, never fully concentrating on the one at hand.  I am easily distracted, and nothing “sits still” in my heart.  Even my centering prayer—a time of surrender and focus—becomes nothing more than a hotbed of racing thoughts, always those worrisome aspects of my life.  I seem to hold on to those as tightly as I can; that’s when the surrendering in centering prayer is most important, but also most difficult.

“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way” as the familiar hymn states is all about surrender. None of those wordly concerns that eat at me, matter when compared to the singular, simple life that Jesus walked while on this earth.  His only concern was to trust and obey His Heavenly Father.  He did so that we might know how to live.  Lord, I am so, so far from that.  Help me surrender to your grace, help me trust and obey.

¹ acedia is defined as: 1) spiritual or mental sloth; 2. Apathy; a lack of care or interest; indifference; 3) boredom  (en.wiktionary.org) 

²When I Was a Child, I Read Books: essays, Marilynne Robinson, 2012

Okay, here’s a quirky poem I wrote awhile back which speaks somewhat to the ongoing daily surrender that must take place.

Grace as in a Nursery Rhyme

Once there was a woman.

(Not that old one who lived

in the shoe!)  But an everyday, ordinary

woman, who--not being a part

of any nursery rhyme, news story, novel,

or poem, but this one--fell many times,

(perhaps not tumbling down a hill like Jill)

but tumbling all the same.

After each fall, she stood up

and began again, newly formed

from the scattered pieces of each fall. 

(Not like Humpty Dumpty whose fragments

still adorn the foot of his famous wall.)

If this isn’t grace,

then tell me,

how do you get out of bed each morning?

Random or Intentional?

 

Last Friday, since we were on our way back from San Antonio, I did not post any elephant on this blog. Tomorrow – also a Friday -- we will be in Lawrence to see our daughter.  So I’m going to post this week’s elephant(s) today. 

Today, I am doing something a little different as I will commenting on a group of elephants who have one feature in common:  their miniature size. These elephants sometimes get ignored in my collection, being overpowered by so many other larger, more unusual pachyderms.  For sometime, I have believed they are more noticed by any guests, or children, because I had them grouped together in the front of others in my collection.  This morning I was looking at each one very carefully, and realized that I had never really paid attention to the distinct features of each elephant.  I had only attended to their common characteristic – their tiny size. 

Sometimes we get “lost in the group”…we lose our identity…who each of us is in God’s sight.  The unique gifts with which God endowed each of us get enmeshed in the group identify which quite often becomes the voice of those who are loudest among us.

Jesus said “blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”  (Matt. 5:5) In our Western culture bigger is better. But here’s the rub: nothing is ever quite big enough.   So if we can’t be “big” by ourselves, we join a group that implies “bigness” – and lose our individual voice.

I believe there is a place for the “group”, particularly within the Church – the universal Church -- as believers come together as the body of Christ.  God does great things with the “body” if it is listening, collectively.  But that’s a “whole other topic”.

Here’s what I’m really getting to: truly few of us are called to do great things.  Most of us are rather called to do small things, but within the great power of God.  In this light, what is too small a matter that it no longer concerns God? And what tiny gift do I have to offer someone in the name of Christ?

These tiny elephants are each unique, and their small size and exclusiveness remind me of how important small things can be in one’s live.  Tiny things such as a smile or kind word may make someone else’s really rotten day, salvageable.  We hear the saying “pay it forward” and if we honor that in our daily living, we know that whatever we do, no matter how small, may have enormous consequences to the lives of others, to the future.

To me, the second of the great commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself”  (Matthew 12: 31) is nothing more than living moment by moment, practicing love and kindness.  Random acts of kindness are fine, but I believe we come closer to God’s purpose to us when we engage in intentional acts of kindness in the only the manner that each of us with our uniqueness can do.

Today, I will practice small acts of kindness, not randomly, but with intention and appreciate the power of each act to make a difference to someone else.  And that may be as close to “inheriting the earth” as I need to get!

Holy Week

I apologize for my lack of an elephant last Friday!  Spent last week in San Antonio, and wrapped it up with a wonderful visit with my parents in Oklahoma, on our way back.  The weather here is dreary; a good time to write.  It's time for me to get back into this blog! 

This is Holy Week, a time for Christians to reflect and consider that selfless, divine act of Jesus over two thousand years ago.  Lately, I’ve been contemplating the nature of the many names and portraits of Jesus in Scripture.   And by doing so, I was reminded of a poem I wrote a few years back using different names by which we know Jesus.

Here it is, certainly very unfinished.  It is my “prayer in progress” as I am still dissatisfied with it.  I imagine I might revisit it every year during Holy Week, and continue to improve it as the Holy Spirit sees fit.

Holy Week

King of Kings,

We worshipped you, the palms

Swaying, our voices sing,

How swiftly we forget.

Oh, Bread of Life,

We chewed you up

then spit you out

and still, we are forgiven.

Prince of Peace,

We pierced your feet,

yet you washed ours

and prayed for us.

We were asleep.

Living Water,

Photos of our church's stained glass windows by Steven Chen

You filled our cups.

As was our way, we drank it up

until we choked and turned our backs.

The rooster crowed.

Lamb of God,

we shed your blood.

A cross, the altar.

The Lamb has died,

The Shepherd lives!

Light of the World,

we snuffed your flame

and all was dark as oblivion.

But wait! The blind now see,

The Light is free!

Son of Man (and Woman, too)

The stone is rolled, the tomb is bare.

You lift up all humanity

from division to divinity

and we are healed, 

whole and Holy.

The Doorkeeper

(This is Friday which means it's Elephant Day! Every Friday, I take one of the many elephants in my collection and write about it, the memories I have about it, the inspiration it might give me for daily living.  So here's another elephant--which serves as a metaphor for my spiritual life!)

 I recently converted our daughter’s bedroom into a sewing room.  It’s been 6 years since she’s gone of to college, and she is living her own life now.  When creating quilts, there is a lot of ironing that must be done.  I use the iron and ironing board more with pressing out seams than I ever did after doing laundry.  Therefore, I decided to move the ironing board from our laundry downstairs to my new haven upstairs, the sewing room.  This particular ironing board does not stand alone.  Instead it hangs on the back or front of a door and swings down when needed.  There was a problem with this, though.  Whenever I ironed, the door would swing back and forth according to my arm motions.  This was could be dangerous! 

Then I remembered I had the perfect solution.  An elephant!  Yes! One of the elephants in my collection, given to me by my mother (she gave many of them to me) was a doorstop! But it was sitting in front of our dining room door.  A door we never use so it is perpetually open. Because there was no need to "hold that door open", my elephant doorstop wasn’t really serving its intended purpose.  However, the dining room was as good a place as any to put it for people to see.  But now, it is serving true purpose.  Being very heavy--nearly 20 pounds--it’s perfect for keeping the sewing room door from swinging dangerously back and forth while ironing.  It also adds a whimsical touch to my sewing room, which is home to all of my stuffed elephants. Because of this elephant’s purpose I call it my “doorkeeper”.

 

Jesus said, "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture." (John 10:9) (ESV)  He also said,  “I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:6  (NIV)

I love the image of Christ being an open door through which I can daily walk to receive a more abundant life.  And as a Christian, I believe that I can be and am called to be a doorkeeper to that Door.  I can hold that door open for someone else who wants (or needs) to see Christ.  I can do it in a number of ways: By being available to someone in pain (I’ve not done this very well in my lifetime); By holding someone in prayer which can keep the “door open” for that person’s healing and comfort; by maintaining communication with my two Compassion children; by acting in loving ways toward my husband and others in my family.  The list goes on I’m sure.  I do hope that writing on this blog is holding the door open to Christ for whomever reads it. 

 

As Christians, we often talk about and pray for “open doors” – new opportunities for spiritual growth, new pathways in our lives.  But maybe we should be praying that God might help us be doorkeepers – keeping Christ (the Door!) open, available to those around us. 

What are the ways you can be Christ's doorkeeper?

Star Light, Star Bright!

I haven't been posting on my blog as often as I was and here's one of the reasons why:

This will eventually be a bed quilt with the lone star (or star of Bethlehem) centered on a black background. The star itself is not all pieced together yet, as you can probably tell from the main photo.

I have long been intrigued with the Amish culture and several years ago, the three of us took our motorhome eastward and during this trip, we were fortunate to visit Amish communities in Ohio, Indiana, and Pennsylvania.  There are important differences which I won't get into here.  One of the trademarks of Amish quilts is the use of solid, plain colors--jewel tones--often on black.  As you can see, I am not using plain colors but instead, using some of the beautiful hand-dyed and batik fabrics that are available.

Another culture which has fascinated me more recently is the early Celtic culture.  This quilt will adapt themes from both the Amish and Celtic cultures.  In addition to the black background, four Celtic knots will be appliqued around the star.  I have to admit the idea is not my own.  I got the idea from a magazine I've had for years.  And I have made a similar quilt ten years ago when I was first quilting.  On that quilt, I used solid colored fabrics and I didn't have the Celtic knots and instead did handquilting.  My applique technique was terrible!  Though many of the points of the diamonds are not sharp, and the applique stitching is lousy, I have always been a proud of the quilt because it was the first quilt (and only quilt) that I made entirely by hand!  No sewing machine!  I didn't own one.  It amazes me that I was patient enough to cut out each of the individual diamonds for the star and piece them together by hand -- now I just strip piece with my machine and use a rotary cutter to cut the strips at angles-- much less time consuming.

My daughter has this first quilt now and unfortunately the only pictures I have of it were taken ten years ago with a very early version of a digital camera; I do not have the digital photos anymore; just two prints done on an old printer -- leaving much to be desired in the quality.  If I get the initiative, I'll see if I can scan it in sometime.  Anyway, now you all know why I haven't been writing on my blog.  Still writing poems though!  None that are ready for posting though!